normal?

I've had a strange couple of days for different reasons than usual? I almost feel like I've been par-taking in a normal life?! I've had a few days off work, but I've been kept busy busy busy!! Of course it was Bonfire night last night. We had a great time with the boys (Connor and his friend Tom) They loved the fireworks and the huge fire and all the hot-dogs and stuff, but more than anything they loved riding on the quad bike around the fire!!

It was so nice to have time together properly, as things should be? Ive still got major issues hanging over my head with things but at least I had chance to let go and relax a little last night?
Today I've had a pretty normal day too. We got up late (which is never good but i still cant sleep? Its 3weeks now and Ive still not settled?) But once up we went to Home base to get the groundsman his paint and stuff, then I nipped home to feed my rabbits # Then school phoned me to collect Connor as they were concerned about a rash that had spread all over his body (after seeing the doctor it was confirmed he just had an allergic reaction to something he has eaten-no idea what-other than maybe a dairy product as he is lactose intolerant?) thankfully there was nothing seriously wrong with him?

I've had a nice quiet walk round town and got spoilt in Ann Summers!! (yippee!! ha!) i love seeing other people doing everyday things now, like walking round town...
At one time I used to dispise people... I would see people going about their everyday business, people who looked like they had never even been drunk let alone high... and I would hate them for being so 'straight' my mind would whirl thinking

'what do these people know about life? About the harshness of reality, about being lost in your own life and yourself, having no control and not knowing if you will ever get control back again? Hating every minute of your life because you are governed by something you resent? Knowing that people see you as the scum of society when really you have worked hard in life but have just fucked up? You hate yourself for hating your life, when really theres people dying out there, or fighting to live, but not for long and you know you put yourself in this position and now you don't like it? Its not easy?

Finish tomorrow, times up for today...

x x x